Anger - Rebelling Against Powerlessness

Do you have someone in your life who is always a time bomb ready to go off? When you're with him/her, you're walking around on egg shells. You have no idea what will cause the eruption.

Are you the one ready to explode if anyone crosses you in the least little way?

Where does all this explosive energy come from?

Anger is the second stage of the grief cycle. It comes when you've realized that the loss you've experienced is real. It doesn't matter what that loss is, a person, pet, job, relationship.

This stage is a reaction to the feeling of powerlessness over what has happened.

Everyone wants to have some control over their lives. When control doesn't work and the result is a deep loss, the reaction is to want to strike out, to regain control.

The problem is that no matter how much control you attempt to have, whatever happened is in the past. No one can change it. The loss is real. It's permanent.

There are two major ways people react to having no control in their lives. One is to withdraw, to be passive. The other is to be a raging bull.

The problem with rage is that it pours out on everyone indiscriminately. People you don't mean to hurt get hurt. The result is more loss, more separation, more pain.

What do you do if you are the raging bull? How do you deal with all the pent up energy?

The key is to release the volcanic energy consciously and by degrees.

One way is to fully experience your feelings. Be quiet. Focus inward. Feel the surging powerful energy within you. Focus on it. Watch it. Put a color to it.

As you watch it, observer what is happening within you. Allow the tumultuous feelings to become an object separate from yourself. If you can watch them, they are not you. It is within you, but you are not made of it.

Notice where it moves within you. Follow it. The energy will pulse, grow, shrink, move. Just watch it.

Eventually, it will dissolve.

What's left when anger is gone? Sometimes you just feel empty. You may actually miss the feeling that consumed you.

Other times there are additional emotions beneath the anger. Perhaps sadness, or fear, or guilt. These were hidden and are probably what you were afraid of feeling.

Now focus on one of the hidden ones.

Release it in the same manner.

Peace can come.

Cathy Chapman, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker assisting people achieve their dreams of health, wealth and abundance through Mind-Body Psychology. She works from a spiritual and energetic model employing BodyTalk and Psych-K to balance the body and change beliefs.

by Cathy Chapman, PhD, LCSW -

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