Death of a Fur-Child
When a Beloved Pet Dies

I have a dear friend who has one major flaw. She tells me that my little Shih Tzu is "just a dog."

You can pick out those who have never fallen in love with an animal. They don't know how deeply you can become attached. They wonder why you are upset when they're sick, or why you can barely move when they leave this world.

As a therapist, I've had people tentatively mention that their dog died. When I respond with heartfelt sympathy, they begin to open up. Many of their friends and family just didn't understand the grief at the loss of a pet.

Some people choose to cremate their fur-child and keep the ashes in their home. I bought some used furniture from such a man. The ashes of his two beloved companions, with delightful pictures, were kept in a special place.

A man I have been speaking with recently is struggling with the loss of his little dog. He can't understand why he is having such a difficult time. He has also found that the death of his Yorkie has brought up all his feelings regarding the death of his father and his son.

This is a normal reaction.

Grief, no matter what it is about, is all the same. It is the same emotion. When you experience a loss, the entire well of emotion within you is triggered. If you have not worked through your feelings of loss, those feelings surge forward when you experience them anew.

It is important to have a ritual of closure to assist you in working through your feelings.

When a human loved one dies, you have a funeral with pictures of a life lived, accompanied by words and prayers. Do the same for the passing of your fur-child. Allow yourself time to have closure.

People handle grief in different ways. You have to find ways that will assist you.

Here are a few suggestions:

Have a special place of memory for your beloved pet. A picture, a favorite toy, other mementos can provide comfort.

Flip through pictures. Recall the memories, laugh and cry. Share your memories with someone if possible.

Don't be concerned about your tears or your sadness.

True, people who aren't connected with animals may not understand what you are going through. Find others who do know.

Not only do you have a right to grieve, you need to release the sadness resulting from your loss. Give yourself that gift. You and your pet deserve it.

Cathy Chapman, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker assisting people achieve their dreams of health, wealth and abundance through Mind-Body Psychology. She works from a spiritual and energetic model employing BodyTalk and Psych-K to balance the body and change beliefs.

by Cathy Chapman, PhD, LCSW -

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