Is Victim Consciousness Running and Ruining Your Life?

As a social worker in the field of Mind-Body Psychology, I work with many people who can't move beyond one or more events of the past. The pain from what happened seems to freeze them into the past. No matter how old they are chronologically, they are still stuck in the pain of their childhood self.

Past pain can affect every aspect of their lives and they not even know it.

Recently I was sent a response to a letter received by a person I've been working with. She has a history of tremendous pain in her past … more than most of us. She wanted me to review his response, which was more than three pages, and let him know what I thought.

(By the way, I always disguise the incidents I'm relating. This person may be male or female. Salient factors are changed or described to keep the point of the story and not reveal who this may be.)

The wounds of the past events of her life were evident in both in writing and in the emotion underlying the letter.

I asked to see the letter she was responding to.

Her answer had nothing to do with the original letter. It was all about the past.

This is not an unusual occurrence for any wounded individual ... and we were all wounded to some degree.

When someone responds to an event in a dramatically emotional manner, you can be sure a deep hurt was triggered.

When the response is all about what happened in the past, victim consciousness is active. When reacting from this state of being, there is an inability to see beyond the anguish that is now present. It's almost as if the person was placed back in the nightmare of the original trauma and can't wake up.

The ability to problem solve and be proactive has disappeared. The only thought is what someone has done to the individual. The feeling is absolute powerlessness and an inability to move forward.

If you have ever reacted in this manner, you know how reacting in this manner can sabotage your life.

If you are in any type of relationship (professional or personal) with such an individual, you have probably been angered and befuddled by their response. You may feel powerless and angry because your words and intentions have been totally misconstrued.

The end result is often a rupture in the relationship.

If you are the "over-reactor" know it is not your fault unless you refuse to work through your issues. Find someone to assist you.

If you are the one having to deal with the over-reactor, you need to find ways to cope with such behavior and emotional outbursts. There are resources available. Unfortunately, at times the only avenue is to end the relationship.

Cathy Chapman, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker assisting people achieve their dreams of health, wealth and abundance through Mind-Body Psychology. She works from a spiritual and energetic model employing BodyTalk and Psych-K to balance the body and change beliefs.

by Cathy Chapman, Ph.D, LCSW - February 2010

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